The Urgent Call to Connect: Be Present, Find Purpose, and Embrace Ritual
I keep hearing the same message these days – CONNECT. I have been reflection a lot of how disconnected things are in the world. More often then not, when you walk into a café you see lots of individual people sitting with their head phones on and their computer or phone in hand. In many cases someone is sitting across from them doing the exact same thing. I believe that the reason people are sitting in a café is because they want to connect, to get out of their quiet apartment for a change of scenery or to be with others. But are they really with others. I have had several conversations in the past few months where it feels like there are two different conversations happening instead of one. Or I meet with someone what we are just two people in the same physical area, but not connected.
On top of this, I have recently been spending a lot of time with people whose loved ones have died. The people have expressed profound loss. Loss of their anchor in life, the person they shared everything with, the person who listened to them, the person who gave them purpose and brought meaning into their lives. And they are left alone to ponder…now what? Like the people in the café, and the people who have lost someone, we try and distract ourselves from the emptiness. As I was writing and re-writing this message I saw a quote from the Dalai Lama which said, “Life is too short to be spent on paths that lead nowhere. Don’t overthink. Be happy. Be present. Love yourself. Cherish the people around you and always stay true to yourself.” When I read the words “Be present” I heard the message “Connect” again. When we are in conversation with one another, when we go to the café, we need to be present!
When I’m feeling overwhelmed and feeling disconnected, I try to practice awareness. I pay attention to what is around me. The memorial services that I have officiated at recently have been a reminder of the importance of connecting with others in times of grief. People in mourning need to know that it is okay for them to talk about the person who died to others. People need to share their sadness, not hide it, and not push it aside. Tomorrow is All Souls Day, a day when many people around the world engage in rituals of connection with their ancestors and loved ones who have gone before. Mexico for example observes the Day of the Dead starting tomorrow where they create altars of remembrance for family members who have died, and they take time to feast with one another in celebration for two days with parades and costumes. Over the past decade there has been a greater emphasis on Halloween in North America. It seems like more and more houses are decorated, and more people seem to dress up. Is this an indicator of a larger need not being met in our culture?
Dressing up is fun because we get to escape from our lives and our reality and become something or someone different. Dressing up invites others to engage us, as they try and determine who we are. People go in droves to haunted houses in October to be frightened. Is it because they are longing to feel something again? It is lots of fun, and I will admit to loving haunted houses myself. But perhaps these are the paths that lead to no where. Maybe they are just a temporary moment that masks the truth -the truth being that we need to connect. We need to be in relationship, and as humans being we need to engage with intention. To engage with intention is to participate in rituals and ceremonies. Ask yourself, what was the last communal ritual you participated in? How did it make you feel? Were you truly present to the ritual? As we move into November I hope you will consider engaging in more rituals. Take time to reflect on how it transforms your existence, and how it brings you happiness or contentment. Let’s take time to walk the path that leads to God and see what we discover. God has proclaimed to me that it is time to CONNECT! So let’s connect!
Rev. Karen