I was given a book, from a colleague recently entitled “The Tao of Ordinariness; Humility and Simplicity in a Narcissistic Age,” written by Robert J. Wicks. It got me thinking about what it means to be ordinary, and when our obsession with being special and extraordinary began? And for that matter what does our faith have to say about this?
Robert Wicks begins by acknowledging that being ordinary is very countercultural these days. It feels like people are always trying to be noticed, and acknowledged for something we have done. The accessibility and ubiquity of instant messaging shows us people from around the world doing extraordinary things, or things we have dreamed of. Let’s be honest, we live in a world where being called ordinary can feel like an insult. The word ordinary comes from the Latin orinarius, which means regular, orderly, or belonging to the usual order of things. In other words being ordinary means participating in the everyday experiences of being human. I think we need to remember that being ordinary does not mean that we are all the same. It means that we share the experience of being human. We prepare meals, we clean up, we pay bills, we help where needed.
This obsession with being special started a long time ago. Even in the bible, the disciples argue about who among them is the greatest in Mark 9:33-37. I think what makes us human is striving to grow and better ourselves, deepen our understanding and our connections with others. What has changed is how societies define personal worth. I think there is a lot of pressure especially on the younger generations to distinguish themselves. I think we can all agree that what Jesus did here on earth was extraordinary, but what is interesting about this is that Jesus never wanted that. Jesus spent most of his ministry living and caring for ordinary people. Jesus helped ordinary people to know that their lives mattered! Maybe the question I should be asking is “When did we begin to believe that we had to be extraordinary to be valued?
This desire to be extraordinary leads us away from discovering who we really are. It can lead to a lack of authenticity. What ends up happening is that we spend far too much energy seeking to be someone or something we are not in order to attract, and please the (often imaginary) crowd around us. For me this idea of being ordinary is connected to being truly present and living in the moment. This is what deepens our relationships. This is where our understanding of self and others can deepen. Perhaps this is one of the greatest gifts of our faith. Jesus reminds us that our worth is not measured by what we accomplish, how many people notice us, or whether we stand out from the crowd. Often the people who have the greatest impact on our lives are those who simply show up, listen, care, and make time for us. These ordinary acts can have an extraordinary impact.
What if being ordinary is not something we need to overcome, but something we need to embrace? What might change if we stopped trying so hard to be extraordinary and instead discovered the meaning, joy, and beauty of simply being ourselves and loving one another? How will you embrace the ordinary this week? Blessings, Rev. Karen